Not a martial arts blog this time, but some thoughts from one of teachers, Hui Wen Tong, who is a professional counsellor when she is not on the martial arts mat. Here it is:
Are You Breaking during the Circuit Breaker?
If you are, you are not alone.
This circuit breaker is hitting everyone hard. The clock is ticking slower, the sound of water from the tap is louder, the need for money is real and, on top of that, privacy seems impossible with family members working from home. Things that were already complicated enough already have become even more challenging as our minds play tricks on us within these four walls.
Here are some nuggets to think about how you’re going to get through this.
Catastrophizing about the Future
The fear of the unknown is said to be the basis of anxiety and presently, there is loads of uncertainty. It is not surprising that we start spiraling downwards with catastrophising thoughts such as “What if I am asymptomatic and I am already infecting my loved ones?” or “I just lost my job. What am I going to do?”
It is valid to be terrified because this is a worrying time. But excessive worrying is not helpful and can make us feel trapped, powerless, and even breathless when our fight-flight-freeze mechanism kicks in to a higher gear. What can we do? I’ll talk about it later in this article.
“My Kids are Going Bonkers!”
It is a hard time for kids too. At a developmental phase where they ought to be exploring and playing, they are now at home bored and transfixed to electronic gadgets to attend school, talk virtually to their friends and play online. Parents are wringing their brains dry trying to find things to keep their kids engaged, while struggling to find the time and space to work from home themselves. For people who find it challenging to deal with different dynamics and interactions at home, this circuit breaker is testing our patience as we long for some breathing space for ourselves.
Here are some suggestions that might help us from breaking during this circuit breaker:
Find Rest in Small Things
A client once told me “I get lost when I am showering. I let myself feel the water on my skin.” Small things like cutting vegetables, listening to the sound of the fan, laughing along with kids, etc. can be restful and it helps us connect. Too often we forget to get in touch with ourselves as we become preoccupied with other things. Connecting with our inner selves helps us rest in the moment instead of binding ourselves with matters of alarm clocks and deadlines. Burying ourselves in ‘bad’ news is just not constructive and we end up scaring ourselves and our loved ones more than the virus itself.
We are all a child once. Remember when with limited resources you could easily create something out of nothing? Currently, we are also quite limited because of the circuit breaker but hey, we used to make sandcastles out of sand and draw silly faces on blank pieces of paper? When was the last time you were funny? Laugh or find things to laugh. Besides, laughing together helps us to connect with those around us and it makes us feel less lonely.
Set Future Goals
Take this time to think about what you want to achieve or can we do better. Perhaps draft a plan on what you need to do or where you need to be. It doesn’t have to be big. It can be something small like…what’s for dinner tonight?
Do Your Part
Yes, we are stuck. But we are stuck for a good cause. The impact of this pandemic is unprecedented and there is increased social isolation, loneliness, stress and uncertainties about the future economy. As long as we are doing our part in keeping ourselves and everyone safe during this circuit breaker, the sooner our kids can go back to school, businesses can open their doors again, and life start to roll. We are not a drop in the ocean here. Each of us has a responsibility to overcome this pandemic.
With that all said, at the very least, if I could offer you some comfort, you are not alone in this fight. We are all in this together.
We are here for you if you need someone to talk to. Book at an appointment with us at https://www.elephant.com.sg/appointments.php